Thursday, October 28, 2010

February 5, 1941 - Neil Doughty

Minneapolis, Minn
Feb. 5 1941

        Dear Marie:

       Thank's a lot for the letter, honey, was glad to know your well again and that "things" are looking better.  Sorry though, that my last letter was "disappointing" and will try this time to do better.

        No - I wasn't surprized to hear you were leaving for California, you see I was "told" that last fall, that you expected to go, and was surprized when you didn't - but - not sorry, naturally I was glad you didn't.  You see, I know the young mans nice, he's been awfully good too you and the two of you get along swell and you've had lots of fun, there's been a ring on your finger and thats the way it should be, but - Honestly, Marie do you really want to go? I wonder, now look, you've said you "havn't made up your mind", yes, three or four times you've mentioned it, that way, well the way I look at it, if I was you, and I loved the guy, Id go and if I didn't I wouldnt go for any reason.  Ive read in between the lines, of your letters, and I know there is doubt, - about something!  Well - I wish I could see you, yes, Id help you decide, first Id give you a damn good spanking, one that would hurt! and as soon as it stopped hurting, you'd get another. Dont tell me your going to California, just for a trip, not when he is expecting you to stay.  What if you dont stay?  Supposing you dont like it, then what?

        This is making me mad I know, but we might as well get it over with hadn't we?  You see honey, you dont really know what you want, now honestly, do you?  Take "places" for instance, we'll go right down the line.  First there was Arthyde then Minneapolis, St. Paul, Arthyde again, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Wilmette, Arthyde, Evanston, Arthyde, Minneapolis and now Waukeagan.  Looks like a time table for the Burlington railroad, dont it?  Well - you haven't liked any of them have you?  The trouble is Marie, darling your so terribly dissatisfied every where and untill you know what you really want, you wont be really happy anywhere!  Look at the jobs you've had, holy smokes, honey! - there is a list as long as your arm.  Can't you see, dear, that there's something terribly wrong with it all!, it shouldn't be this way.  It seems to me, Id want to be sure that going to California, would make me contented, willing to stay put and that it would be for "keeps", and if I wasn't sure - well, I don't know!  You could be, - happy anywhere, if you were just sattisfied with things.

       Well anyway we'll leave that for a moment and start in with me.  Yes, I remember the poems all right, they wern't hard to write, because I mean't what I said.  I could still write them under the same conditions, you see that hasn't changed much, the "place" hasn't changed much either, or the moon.  If you were here I could take you out "there" and prove to you that "that" hasn't changed.  Nope, not the lake, not the moon or the walks - there still here, but your not.  That what started things off "wrong", you're not being here.  No "things" havn't changed, we were the "ones" that changed.  That first summer you were gone, I was lost, - lost and lonely, but I managed all right there wasn't anybody that could take your place and I was satisfied.  I didn't mind waiting cause I knew you'd be "home" and then it would be all right again, but you didn't come "home" did you, you were having too swell a time.  It was to "dead" here and "too small a town".

        I use to go with Jim and El once in a while, when they went out, most of the time there was, just the three of us, once in a while a friend of "Els", it was just a "date" thats all, the kind you used to have when you went "out"  Don and I got together once i a while too.  Don hadn't been married so very long then and Ines was "the only girl" and so we never had anyone with us, but we did get drunk pretty often.  After I got the car it seemed to get worse there was always, "week ends" in some joint with Don and after a while Ines started going with us.  She didn't like the idea of always being alone and one night I met a friend of hers and Dons and she went with us.  It got so that it was a regular thing, the four of us going out.  She lived right across the hall from the Cable's in the next apartment and she and Ines practically lived together.  I think probably she is the girl you were refering too.

        Well, her name was Eva Stueve and she was a awfully nice "kid"  Eva was just a "kid" too, nineteen years old, and kind of small.  She had her troubles too, had a "crush" on a fellow and I think he was married, and she was in the "blues" most of the time.  Anyway there was some reason why she tried to "drown" her sorrows.  She sure, use to get drunk, and the rest of is didn't do bad either.  Eva Stueve was all right, she really was in love with this other fellow, she gave me to understand the fist night we were out, that if I expected to get "paid" for taking her out, I could go to hell!  After that Eva and I got along all right.  She was a square shooter and I give her credit for that.  As for their being anything between Eva and I, well, there just wasn't thats all.  We had a lot of fun together and thats as far as it went.  I haven't seen her now for about a year or so.

        The trouble there, was, that the girls got in a scrap (Ines and Ellenor) and they couldn't say enough mean things about each other and I dont know which one was the worst.  Anyway, they both put the "heat" on Eva behind her back.  Ines who was her best friend and Ellenor who didn't even know her.  Well all I can say about this, is, that one of those girls wan an "unmarried mother" in one affair, and a "common law wife" in another.  The other girl wasnt any better than a ordinary "street walker".  I dont think they had anything to say about anyone else, being "careless".

        "People who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones".

        I happen to know the "information" you received about me, was from one of these people.  I think it came to a question of "proof", you would find her story unreliable and untruthful.  So much for that, I hope that explains Eva Stueve's "position" as far as Im concerned.

        Well, after this "battle" the ladies had, Don and I went out alone. I admit I got to drinking pretty heavy.  There was a time, when I could put away a quart of whisky straight, without blinking an eye.  I got in with a "bunch" down at Freebergs and was hanging around there most of the time!  Dont know if you knew that or not.

        A fellow by the name of Norman Childs worked at Freebergs and Norm and his girl, Lucielle and I went out a lot.  They werent bad scouts at all, the only thing that was bad was that they drank a little, "heavy"  Don and Ines came down once in a while and so did Jim and Ellanor.  Sometimes we would all go together somewhere, but most of the time one or the other of Cables or Hales were mad, you know how that is.  Well, we had a merry time of it anyway.

        I smashed up the car a couple of times, wrapped it around a telephone pole once, spent all the money I made and felt like hell most of the time.  It went on like that every week end and sometimes during the week.

        Well it wasn't long before Lucielle introduced me to a girlfriend of her's.  Dorthy G. was her name, real dark, nice looking but sort of "hard boiled".  After we had been out together a couple of times, I found out she was married and had a baby girl.  Her husband was "working" for the state by "request" for ninety days.  A guy cant be a "chump" all his lifeI guess and I "blew up", don't know what really did happen, but I sure as hell was mad.  I though she was trying to pull a "fast one" but it didn't turn out that way.

        It was through her that I finally got back on my "feet" again.  Yes, Dorothy gave me more hell that I ever had before in my life and I guess that's what I needed.  Why she ever bothered is more than I can figure out.  Of all the friends I had at that time, Dorothy was the only one that seemed to give a damn, and she got the least from me of any of them.  Well any way that the way it turned out, and I guess I got the best of that but I wasn't happy about it.

        Well, I promised to tell you, truthfully what happened and as far as I can see thats it.

        There was Eva Stueve who didn't mean anything to me or I to her.  There was Dorothy who gave me a lift when I needed it, but asked no favors.  Mixed up in it all was too much booze, that was the bad part of it all!

        Why it was that way I dont know, discouraged I guess, dissapointed too, when things didn't work out right, I just didnt care.

--- rest of letter is missing ---

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